Exodus
by Kyouryoku Senshi
Summary: William's thoughts on My Struggle IV


Title: Exodus

Author: Kyosenshi

Rating: PG-13

Summary: Post MS4, William's POV

A/N: Special thanks to WildWingSuz for beta-ing for me!

They kept coming after me, my birth mother and her partner who they believed to be my father. I didn't have the heart to tell him,though, that he wasn't my father, as much as I wished it to be true. I came to realize he was also being used by the man I believed to be my father and I later realized that he too had the misfortune of being related to this man I came to hate. Mulder was his first born son, I had come to learn.

Mulder and my birth mother were being followed unknowingly and'they' were led to me. I want to talk to my birth mother as I have so many questions, but it's clear to me that I won't be able to get answers to those questions...not without putting them or myself in extreme danger.

I want to stop running, but I cannot because with my birth mother and her partner comes that same danger. And with it comes more blood in the streets. I don't want to keep killing. I want it to stop.

My mother's partner wanted to protect me once he found me, but I ended up saving him instead. I did want so badly for someone to tell me that it will be okay, to go back ten years...to my mom and dad, and the safety I felt before it all started. Their ignorance to my powers was bliss at the time.

Some time ago, I had discovered that Mulder would die. My visions had changed from seeing the virus being unleashed while my birth mother frantically prepared a vaccine and ended with a UFO over the 14th street bridge. The outcome was always the same though. Mulder would die. Unless I did something to change the course of the future.

I came to realize, however, that the course of the future had already been altered. My birth mother was miraculously pregnant again. It wasn't long ago that I uncovered Project Crossroads, revealing my mother to be an unwilling participant and was implanted with an embryo utilizing her ova that resulted in my conception. She was my mother, but the cigarette man was my father.

From my visions and the few times I encountered my mother, I did realize something. Though she was blissfully unaware of how I came to be, she loved me. And so did her partner, the man who went by Mulder. So, I never told him otherwise.

Even though I had only met them indirectly, I often felt my mother's pain long before that first impersonal meeting. She lamented losing me and wanted a second chance. With that realization, another thing became clear. She wasn't able to have children as a result of similar experiments done to her like they had done to me. I thought back to the time I had made a chicken hatch for my classmates from a store-bought egg.

That was years ago, before my powers had grown. Everyone thought I was strange, but I enjoyed showing off what I could do. So I thought really hard one day, not long before I saw her in person. It was on one night in particular where I could sense she was upset, thinking about wanting more children and not being able to have them. I hoped that I could help her with that miracle of life as I did the baby chick by giving her back something that had been taken from her by the same man who created me. The vision came when I was on the run, in a flurry of visions of the new future along with Dana giving birth and an ultrasound. She was pregnant with Mulder's baby.

Mulder had managed to track me to the old Sugar Factory. I knew he wasn't the type to give up easily, but I needed to make things change. Sure enough, my birth mother had shown up. I had to keep disguising myself, knowing I was a danger to her as much as she was to me only because I knew she wouldn't let go if she saw me. That was when I knew what I had to do. I needed her to let me go. I wanted to stop running from the danger that came along with them and I didn't want to get them killed with my presence either. They didn't deserve that.

The Van De Kamps had already died because of me. I didn't want to lose anyone else I cared about. When I saw her, she was about to run back out to help her co-worker. It was my chance to escape, but I knew what was happening out there and what would happen had she gone to help her friend. The FBI man got run over by a car, but not before shooting at my creator and the woman he was using for his cause. She would get hurt if she went out there. So I stopped her while impersonating the man she loved and told her that she needed to let me go.

Seeing her so visibly upset at my words hurt me more. It had been a few months since I had last seen her. Her hair was shorter, and she had that glow people talked about when women were pregnant. I told her I knew she loved me using mannerisms intended to give myself away. When Mulder appeared, I knew I had to go and it took her a moment to figure out that it was me talking to her. They wouldn't give up easily, but I hoped they would stop eventually. They had a new chance at a future.

Before exiting the building, I disguised myself as Mulder again and knew what I had to do. I wanted to die. I was sick and tired of the experiments, of running, of being a freak. Most of all, I didn't want to give my creator the satisfaction of fulfilling his sick and twisted plan by having me. I would take that bullet for Mulder and alter the course of history. And so I let the cigarette man put a bullet in my head while thinking he was talking to his first born son.

That wasn't the end though. After some time floating, I woke up as if from a dream. I gasped and took several deep breaths. It took me several moments to realize what happened. I remained otherwise unscathed despite the bullet hole in my head. I should have died but didn't. That was when I saw my birth mother and father crying on the dock together. She was telling Mulder, who still thought he was my father, to let me go. I know she was realizing how I came to be and was wondering about the miracle growing inside of her. That was when she had told him. I knew she and I would always be connected by my visions, but I needed to work harder to limit that connection to protect not only them, but my sister with whom I would later share the same connection. For now, I had to watch over the three of them and keep them safe.

END


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